Easter

My approach to annual leave has changed since embarking on the post graduate degree. I feel like I have too much excess leave. Any break from school or work is an excuse to return to Sydney. Easter was another excuse to head home for a recharge. First stop Bankstown.

10 years of blogging. Or rather, 10 years since I moved out from home and left Sydney. Time has moved neither fast, nor slow. It feels like a long time ago. It sounds like a long time ago. I wonder if it's even worth continuing with the blog updates. I mean, who reads this?

There is something romantic about the idea of re-reading this blog on my deathbed - The final audit of my life. That got dark, quick.

Currently reading "The Three Body Problem"

John Legend

The year is 2004. It's the year that I hear about John Legend. The Get Lifted LP was on repeat. I had the Ordinary People sheet music and was trying to learn how to play it on keyboard. The first time I saw him perform live was at Metro Theatre on George Street. He performed to a small, intimate, 300 plus crowd. The crowd sang along to the majority of his songs. He was of course an up-and-comer at the time with a smaller discography.

Fourteen years later, he's performing in Hong Kong. I'm always apprehensive about Hong Kong concerts. Majority of the crowds (in my experience) are at these events to say that they were at the event versus being there for the music. Dilettantes of culture, as opposed to fans of the artist. Or perhaps things are just different in Hong Kong. The irony is, I had stopped listening to his music and wasn't familiar with his latest work. I am part of the problem.

My plus one had been hospitalised and an SOS was sent out by a friend to find me a last minute plus one. Mr Stephens still puts on a show, he belted out his big hits, dipped heavily into Get Lifted and the songs he collaborated on as well as the off cover. The last minute plus-one knew the lyrics and it was one of the better concerts I've been to in recent times. The man still knows how to put on a show!

"How can I blame you; For taking over my daydreams?" - John Legend

Lessons in Mindfulness

The tenant of mindfulness is that it can be applied to the most benign activities: Walking, brushing your teeth, even eating. Today, as I ate at my desk, I accidentally bit a fork and chipped my front tooth. The sound was jarring and my desk was littered with small fragments of tooth.

The dentist charged me 400 USD to have it patched up. Note, biting a fork while eating a salad is not a practise in mindfulness.

Semester 2: Greener Grass

Fourier series, integration, imaginary numbers, convolution, directed graphs, mathematical expectations. There was a time in my life where that all made sense to me. The frustrating thing is that I used to know how to do this; it's the opposite of riding a bike, you do forget, and forgetting and re-learning almost feels like a waste of time.

Oddly enough, in between semesters I was looking forward to hitting the books. Now that I have started, I'm looking forward to the semester break. The grass is always greener. No coincidence that my sleep is starting to play up again...

Currently reading: "Nexus"

2018: The Earth Dog

"That is the idol you need to pay your respects to" the lady explains to my friend. My friend holds the joss sticks with two hands and bows deeply three times, she then inserts the incense into a large ceramic pit so that it's standing upright amongst the other burning offerings. Periodically, the temple staff come and clean up the burnt our joss sticks. The small temple is tucked behind Soho. Despite the size, it's busy and there's at least ten or more people paying their respects. The monks are chanting and singing, their demeanours show no emotion; they're just doing a job. My friend is directed to the main altar and she lights a larger more impressive incense, again she bows.

"Is it over?" I ask. My friend looks at me, she looks at the lady, who has already gone off to help the next person, and then my friend looks back at me "Uh, I think so. Are you sure you don't want to pray? It's supposed to be a bad year for me, it's supposed to be an equally bad year for you, too". I shrugged. 

I'm a dog, in the year of a dog. I don't remember the last time it was the year of a dog. I know my age. I was 24 years old. I don't remember it being a particularly bad year; Then again, at 24 you view things through a much different lens. Sometimes I wonder if I need more spirituality in my life.

Singapore Stag

I've always had an affinity with Singapore. For one, I have no problem sitting in a hawker centre, pushing the physical boundaries of my stomach. Two, everybody know somebody who lives in Singapore, it is incredibly easy to meet up for a coffee or a meal. Three, deep down it reminds me of Malaysia, a polished, cannot-lah version with an awesome airport and arguably the most talkative cab drivers in the world.

This weekend's occasion was a Bachelor Party. Singapore isn't the first destination you think of when you think South-East Asia Destination Stag Party. It was however, the only weekend the groom-to-be was available. I'm close to the bride, and by association had become close to the groom. In total, two of us flew from Hong Kong to Singapore. We stayed with a couple who now called Singapore home. They had just moved into a huge 3 bedroom apartment in Orchard. All things considered, their life seems idyllic - Married, both have successful careers, enjoying life abroad.

The stag was a fairly civil affair. The father of the stag happened to be in town and came along for the ride. Go-karting, Pool, Dinner in the Quay, Karaoke, copious amounts of alcohol, capped off with some late night Thai. So, this is Singapore life?

Saying yes more, saying no more

This post just won't come out. Thoughts. Words. Incongruity. Our actions are invariably driven by two voices. The internal voice that aligns with our actual wants and expectations. The external voice that we perceive as what society expects from us. Ultimately it comes down to behaving in a way that is organic, or behaving in a way that we are expected to behave.

One of my things for 2018 is being conscious of saying yes more, but also saying no more. The difficulty is finding that sweet spot between doing something because you really want to do it versus doing something because you think you should be doing it.

"Hey, I'll be in Tokyo this weekend, come along". My mind flashes to Sushi. Winter. Onsen. Ramen. Sleep.  Japan always refocuses me. The culture appears so polished and polite. There's a delicacy and respect that is so profound.

The most menial tasks are conducted with so much pride and emphasis, from being greeted upon arrival at a restaurant or being bowed at when you enter a toilet. Are they behaving in a way that they want to, or how society expects them to?

Currently reading: "The Golden Compass"