New job: First day

I've now been through enough jobs to have an idea of what makes a "good first day" or a "bad first day". All in all, there's no such thing as a bad first day, maybe there's memorable first days, but there's often so little expected of new joiners, as it's all internal process that dictates the first day. Despite this, I don't really have much memory of previous "first days". I want to say it's usually a mix of excitement and nerves. One job I remember not having a PC on the first day, another job I remember going out for lunch with the team.

This time around, I thought I would make of a concerted effort to break down the day. 10th of July 2023. 9 am in the foyer to meet with HR, only to find out that my onboarding application has not been entirely completed. We surmise it's probably a result of the licensing and the change in start date. As a result, there's some confusion around PC access and phone access. Initially we're told that the system profile has not been created, and will take 3-5 days before I can access my PC. Long story, cut short, I manage to access my workstation and email by mid morning. Initial observations, my email address is weird and my keyboard feels slow, will need to investigate this. 

Overall, the day is a mix of excitement and nerves, starting a new job, the commitment surrounding this and the attitude that is associated with being the 'new guy'. It feels odd walking the isles not knowing anybody. Trying to figure out the water dispenser or the coffee machine. Catching the stray look of somebody who realises that they've never seen you before. Then there's the nerves of performance/job expectations. Somebody who has been brought it to do a job, a new job, and also nerves around performance after almost 10 weeks of inactivity. The brain feels slow and gooey.

It's a different environment here, the office is larger. It's probably one of the busiest floors that I've worked on, there's a lot of faces, some that I will probably never interact with. It's a weird feeling being back in the huge corporate machine. I meet all the people on the team, some are familiar from the interview process. I find myself trying to access all the relevant systems, reaching out to all the key stakeholders. I tell myself not to get too carried away here, there's plenty of time to get set up. I just need to enjoy the first couple of days. It's been a good first day, looking forward to the rest of the week. I leave just after 6 pm, the floor is still busy.

48 hour water and tea fast

The apartment still smells. My housemates have left yet the smell insidiously lingers. Is this the offensive smell that my mother complained about when I lived in Sydney?

I wonder what the effect of this noisome would have on prepubescent females; they would gush and swoon leaving me with unexplainable pile of teenage bodies. Anyway. The first four days of the new year have been excess: Oolaa, Cha Cha Wan, Yung Kee, Tsim Chai Kee, Emacks and Bolio, Fu Sing, San Xi Lou, Carbone, Flaming Frangos and Tai Cheong. Non-stop eating.

Out of guilt and as an attempt to level out the volume of food I attempt my first 48 hour fast. Just water and green tea. Noticeable drop in body temperature and keto-breath that would also leave me with an unexplainable pile of bodies. All in all, aside from some jitters and the occasional lapse in focus I'm feeling pretty good.

I mentally put together my list of 2016 resolutions and prepare break fast at Island Tang with my uncle and auntie.

Currently reading: "Look Who's Back" - Timur Vermes

Santa Claus is coming to town: Santacon 2015

There is always an excitement in the air around December. It could be attributed to the long year finally coming to an end, or the slightly cooler weather, but there is no mistaking the festive season and the buzz that Christmas generates. Wreaths and tinsel adorn retailer shop fronts while classical and remixed renditions of Christmas carols blend in with the car horns and chatter of the Hong Kong cacophony.

It's 11:45 on a Saturday morning and two men walk through Soho, Hong Kong. Young children stare, confused. Parents stare, disgusted. Locals stare, bemused. The two men are dressed in red faux velvet with white fur trimmings with matching hats both carrying cans of open beer. Both dressed as Santa Claus and despite the absurdity of the scene are on course to meet another hundred or so people similarly dressed. It's that time of the year again, Santacon.

What started in San Francisco has quickly become a global sensation (or nuisance, depending who you are). The Hong Kong leg, just so happens to be organised by two friends, Americans, no less. An annual pub crawl where participants dress up as Santa Claus. The typical route has seen an army of red and white move to various bars around Hong Kong. 2015  was a change in direction and the removal of the TST leg has not been popular with all participants. 

Regardless, the end point is always the same. Traffic on Lockhart Road has been blocked by a sea of red and white spilling out into the Wan Chai evening.

Commute

Life in Hong Kong will never be the same! Gone is the 10 minute stroll to work. Our office has moved from Exchange Square out to Taikoo Place. I'll let that settle in, that's an additional 25 minute commute to work. You know you live in a bubble of convenience when a 35 minute, door-to-door commute provokes a new blog entry.

I still reminisce those times when weeks, nay, months that would pass without me leaving the 1 km radius of my comfort zone.

One of these is not like the other

I woke up this morning with beer and the latest issue of National Geographic in my fridge. There were also new messages on my phone "God I hope you're alright", "I'm changing now" and "What are you doing?". Most people, if presented with this scenario would be slightly perplexed, and I will be honest, it took me a few moments to realise what was going on here. Conflicted with choice, I grabbed the milk (why I had originally opened the fridge) and the Nat Geo. The magazine was crisp and cold, it felt sterile and new, I momentarily considered storing all of my literature in the fridge. Sanity prevailed and I sat down and ate my oats whilst replaying the events of the prior evening. 

It all started at the Sevva rooftop bar. We, our team, were celebrating the recent marriage of a colleague. Mid Autumn had just passed and as expected, the weather was cooler, making for a lovely evening to be amongst the Hong Kong Skyline. I received a message from a girl, it contained a picture of butterfly in a jar, childhood innocence or animal cruelty? I wasn't sure, I was four beers deep and toasting with a glass of champagne. It was also Friday and Friday's are hands down the best day of the week. Turns out the butterfly in a jar was a present for her friend's house warming party.

Drinks eventually turned to into dinner and dinner turned into home time. It was still early, and I walked home feeling rather proud that I wasn't drunk and that it was still before midnight. It also felt a little unusual going home so early, I immediately began to plan my day knowing that the Shaolin Mafia were about to take on Dragon Dash the following day (see next post for explanation). 

New message alert, it's another message from Butterfly Girl asking if I want to come to the house warming party. Why not, the party is in Sheung Wan and it's still early. Realising that I can't show up empty handed I walk into the nearest 7/11 and grab some alcohol; beers. Perusing the store, I look for a suitable house warming gift. Cantonese Music DVDs, Umbrellas, Condoms, Chewing Gum, Chinese Gossip Magazines, I grab the National Geographic. Shortly after, that undeniable feeling, I'm lost, call it coincidence but her phone battery has also died, I wander Bonham Strand for the better part of 5 minutes and realise the futility of it all. It's just after midnight, I open a beer and head home.

"I hate these blurred lines" - Robin Thicke

Absolutely Rental (Part 2)

A few months ago I received a message from my real estate agent, it was sent on behalf of my landlord. The message stated that my lease would be ending in October and that the landlord would allow me to extend my contract. The catch being, that a rate rise of 10% would be incurred. I told them I would consider the offer and let them know my decision by the end of September.

My current apartment is great, the location, the finishings for the price was good value. However, there were little things that annoyed me: the en-suite, the lack of storage, the small-ish kitchen and I was starting to get a bit bored of the neighbourhood. I decided that I would explore the market and see 'what else was out there'. I contacted my reliable agents from two years ago and embarked on what would be my second most testing experience with Hong Kong property.

Forty viewings in, I was reminded of the nightmarish Hong Kong rental market. Despite expanding my search to Causeway Bay and Wan Chai the extra districts proved to be fruitless. It was my last viewing that convinced me to stay at my current apartment. I was scheduled to see an apartment after work. The landlord was currently staying in the apartment and an appointment had to be made. I arranged a viewing with the agent at 7 pm.

Having escaped work early we managed to get to the apartment early at 6:50, we proceeded upstairs and found the front door ajar. How odd. The agent knocked on the door, "hello?". No answer, again we knocked and as we pushed the door open the landlord greeted us at the door. She was wearing nothing but a robe (that she was busily tying up) and a sheepish look on her face. "Uh, hi" she said, "welcome, come in". We walked in and immediately down the corridor to the left was the bedroom, I stuck my head in and saw a stark naked guy on the bed, he was frantically putting clothes on. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on here.

Shocked, I pretended to ask questions about the apartment. "So how do you find the size of the kitchen?" (Who shows somebody around an apartment in a satin robe?). "You mentioned that this place is completely furnished? Including the sofa, and erh, the bed?" (The very bed where that naked dude was lying?). "Twenty Two thousand per month?" (I need to get out of here!). "Let me think about it, and get back to you" (Screw this!). Upon leaving I messaged my agent and told him I would accept the new terms and conditions. Looks like I'll be here for at least another 12 months!

Kale in Hong Kong

Finally found Kale in Hong Kong! Imported from the US.

O2H
Shop A, G/F, World Trust Tower, 50 Stanley Street, Central, Hong Kong

Anybody know any good Kale Recipes?

Dance Flashmob

You can't teach an old dog new tricks. It's so true, the older you get, the harder it is to pick new things up. Sure there's those activities that simply lend themselves for adoption, Bingo, lawn bowls, Tai Chi, but seriously, they're not really new tricks. So at the tender age of 29 I take my first lesson in dance. I can genuinely say that I have issues learning how to dance especially in the contemporary format. It's a strange outer body experience dancing in front of a mirror watching the instructor, then watching yourself and your non-compliant body. Smooth, beautiful dancing. Rigid, disobedient moving. Learning to dance at this age is a strange phenomenon as you will your body to do things that is just completely foreign. Actually, it's probably more because I'm unco-ordinated but it has taken me two rehersal sessions to get the 4-5 second dance routine memorised.

You might ask why am I even going to dance school? Why? The answer is simple, to realise my dreams and feature as an extra in a Pop Music Video! That's right! Backup dancer, me! It's laughable but an enjoyable day with the highlight being apart of a mini flash mob in the middle of Hong Kong. We crossed one of the busiest roads in Hong Kong on a Sunday morning, only to break out into a choreographed dance routine.

9 am to 7 pm, those are work hours and for a lot of the film and stage crew this was work. All the filming, break time and retakes were an eye-opener to the industry. The chores of shooting and re-shooting, from different perspectives, with different lighting, and most importantly, different angles. It was a long day featuring three main shoots:

1). Flash mob Dance Routine outside Sogo on Hennessy Road, Causeway Bay.
2). Street scene, random dancing on a side street.
3). Club scene - typical Hip Hop club video, models, bottles and of course plenty of smoke.

No animals were harmed in the filming of this clip although the agenda for such a music clip is to promote the the upcoming 2012 movie, Supercapitalist. Watch this space, I'll try to find a cut of the final music video.

Absolutely Rental

When it comes to the priorities of settling down in a new country I would say occupation or a steady income is probably the most important. Coming in at a close second would be accommodation. This is where I still feel very dishevelled or very uncomfortable.

Waking each morning from a couch and living from a suitcase is no means a settled lifestyle. In fact, I feel about as comfortable as I imagine the UBS Rogue Trader felt the moment he found out about the Swiss Franc ceiling. Not to say that the accommodation hasn't been anything short of first class. I've had a huge living room, a cushy leather couch, broadband internet, a custom-made sheep rug and a massive 55" TV at my disposal. It's just I feel I've over welcomed my stay. Overstayed by six months. I have been here since the beginning of April! April, that was almost 2 seasons ago! That has got to be some record of dossing. I can already see all the chiropractors salivating at the thought of my mangled spine. It's not just my spine, think about the actual people who I'm staying with, I've become apart of the furniture.

Which probably makes you wonder, why haven't I moved out yet? Well, that's a very good question. Which is probably summed up best by describing the current Hong Kong Property Market. Shit. Succinct and deliberate. The market is so inflated it has forced buyers back into the rental market, which of course is saturated with tenants and a huge deficiency of properties. Basic supply and demand suggest that the prices can only do one thing, that is go up. Properties will appear and disappear in the market within a matter of hours. I might receive a call in the morning "I have a place which I think is perfect for you, do you want to view it this evening?" only to receive a follow up call a couple of hours later "Sorry, it was just leased, I'll keep looking for you". I originally had had an idea of what budget and what I could expect in return based on friend's experiences in the last year. However, speaking with property agents it appears prices on rental market have increased in the last 12 months - in some cases more than 25 percent!

With a budget and a will I have engaged the rental scene, viewing apartments in the Central, Mid-Levels and Sheung Wan area. This region of Hong Kong is extremely popular with foreigners, with a huge proportion of expat tenants occupying the high density area. Three weeks in and I've seen a lot of places but nothing that I can comfortably call home. I didn't really experience this in London as I was always flat-sharing, but Hong Kong is a different beast. Price per square foot, space efficiency rating, club facilities and city views are all factors in determining how much you will pay. I've seen Studios, 1 bedders, 2 bedders, walk-ups, tiny kitchens with a 1 stove elements, Hong Kong style wet-kitchens and bedrooms that barely fit a double bed. It makes London look spacious, it makes Australia look wasteful.

It's hard not to feel discouraged after seeing so many incompatible places yet I continue to arrange viewings each night after work. According to agents an average person will see anywhere between 5-10 places before they decide to sign the contract. I have seen at least 40 different places and don't feel like I'm getting close. The agents always try the hard sell saying that my budget and requirements aren't aligned. I give a non-committed answer and tell them that I'll think about it knowing that a decision has already been made. I figured if I'm going to be there for a year I might as well wait.

Am I too picky? Am I looking for something that doesn't exist? Does the thought of commitment cloud my judgement? These are questions I often ask myself, usually directed at relationships as opposed to property - uh, at least I'm consistent. Until then, I continue with the viewings and get comfortable with the idea of sleeping on the couch for a little bit longer ...