Thursday 12 December 2019

Passing away

I haven't had a chance to sit down and reflect over the year that was 2019. Have I had a good year? What were the highlights? What am I grateful for? What did I learn? What would I have done differently? Then there's the extension of those questions and applying that to the past decade. I can think of a couple of things this year that have been defining.

I can already think of a couple of things that standout, progress with school and career, as well as the highlights that aren't so much me but events that will standout when I look back. Marriages, holidays, new friendships. Sadly it's also the decade where I've seen members of the generation above say good bye. It is inevitable, but it's a reality check that Father Time has now turned his attention to the more immediate group of people; a group we hold near and dear.

Within the space of a month two figures in my life have passed away. My auntie, and my babysitter. Only when you take a quiet moment to sit and think about your relationship with these people. The relationship that continues in nostalgia is so clear, almost clearer than when they were alive. For them, the moments that replay are of me as a child, running, laughing, playing, and then older the interactions are them being curious about my life and making sure that I'm adulting correctly.

The news breaks and suddenly there's a weird emptiness, a surreal feeling. That's the problem with being overseas, sometimes you feel disconnected such that when things actually disconnect, the feeling and the event become less defined and it's just numbness.



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