The next milestone

High school, University, Enjoy life, Career, Marriage, Property, Family. Welcome to my rough list of milestones that my generation have come to experience in their short lives. It's funny to think that not 10 years ago we were all at the same stage. Yet, as I retrospectively look at how we've progressed I can see how our time has been distributed across these milestones. For some, all these points have been fulfilled, whilst for others they have invested their time more heavily in some areas.

I found out earlier this week that the girl that I asked to my year 12 formal recently passed away. Shocked, I zoned off into a 20 minute internal eulogy. I still remember calling her and after the initial greetings the first thing she said was "Why is your voice shaking?". To which I nervously squeak out "Would you like to be my partner to my formal?". The elation of her saying "yes" was instantly reversed when she called back not 5 minutes later saying that she couldn't make it. I can't help but laugh as that was the fondest memory of her. I wonder if she would have laughed if I told her that at her death bed.

With that, I add two slightly more final milestones to the list: Retirement and Death. It's scary to think that I know people who have managed to cross off every item in the list. At my passing, what will be your fondest memory of me?

The Hong Kong Sevens

Hong Kong Sevens - An excuse to get dressed up and consume copious amounts of liquor. Oh, and of course watch some seven-a-side Rugby...

Sydney Ceremonies

I had wanted nothing more than to laze on the beach with McMafia. The sound of crashing waves in the foreground, the insane screeching of seagulls in the background. Toes and back frosted with sand all the while the warming Australian sun canvassing my body. Expectation management, never goes too far. That was the best case scenario, what I got was the worst case scenario. 20 degrees, heavy showers. Sydney's Summer was colder and wetter than the Hong Kong Winter.

The flight in was tough - My unusual compulsion to catch up on new release movies on a 8 inch screen and the fact that I had discounted the timezone delta compounded with my strained neck denied me of any decent sleep. I arrived into wet miserable Sydney only to be greeted by my mother at the station. I was home and headed straight for my old bedroom. It was a going to be a long weekend and I needed every ounce of shut eye.

That same night the grooms men met with the groom for a dinner down in the Shire with the Bride and her family. It had only been a month since I'd seen the guys in Bail but it was nice to see everybody back in Sydney. The night was easy, sharing a couple of beers and reminiscing our history: The old university days, the old trips and the laughs and defining moments over the last eleven years. Eleven years, it's been an amazing ride, two down, three to go. I often wonder if it will be the same bridal party for each of our weddings (I mean, provided we all get married).

Wedding Day. It was the same nervous energy with the same group of guys. We all spent the night at the Camperdown apartment and woke at 8 am, it doesn't look like any of us got any decent amount of sleep. It was going to be a long day, charged with adrenaline and laughter. The photographer arrives and we go through the compulsory preparation photos as well as a photo session at our old stomping grounds: The University of Sydney.

The limo arrives and we're whisked down the Princess Highway towards Kareela. Straight off the bat, it would be day where we, the grooms men failed to receive the memo and would result in an comedy of errors. Blooper #1: We step out of the limo and stand around like a pack of lost children, "What do we do now?". The soon-to-be mother-in-law runs down to the driveway "You can't come out until he (pointing at the boy) opens the car door for you!". The groom jumps back into the car and closes the door.

10 minutes and 88 dollars later we buy ourselves into the Bride's house after an obstinate negotiation period. As a little bit of trivia, during the years in university we as a group were (unknowingly to us) known as the "Backstreet Boys".  Continuing on the tradition we were made to perform a Backstreet Boys song of our choice, are much bashfulness we decided on a rendition of "I Want it that way". To be fair we got off pretty easy, couple of eating challenges later and we're in the house with the groom claiming the bride.

The bridal party climb into the limo and make our way back into the City. Traffic is bad, the rain has wrecked havoc on the roads but the banter and chatter among the group distracts us from the severity of our tardiness. Unfortunately our time was limited and we could only squeeze in the Wentworth Park Shoot thereby forfeiting the National Maritime Museum  sequence.

We arrived to the ceremony late and the place was packed with so many familiar faces. The Uni Crew, The Seftoners, the Fairfield group, the Ticketek group, everybody was there crammed into the hall, we were late and they were waiting. The grooms men lined up as we waited for the brides maids and bride. Blooper #2: We were standing up on the right hand side, the wrong side. The groom casually whispers to us "Guys, we're on the wrong side, slowly move over to the other side". Sheepishly we shift to the other side. Soon enough the room explodes with Taio Cruz's "Telling the World". The bride and the father enter the room, the room stands and suddenly all notion of the wet weather outside is forgotten.

Blooper #3. Groom mis-pronounces the Bride's Surname. Blooper #4: Bride has a lapse of concentration during vows. The Groom, notorious for his uncontrollable perspiration had developed bullets of sweat, it was all too much. The "I dos" are exchanged and tea ceremony proceeds. The party then moves over to the Sydney Fish Markets, Fisherman's Wharf. The Bridal Party dance out to the throw back "Where the Party At" and a little bit of silly fun. So. Much. Alcohol. The guests look happy to be inside and there's plenty of socialising and plenty of drinking.

Delicious food, followed by a memorable Father of the Bride's Wedding Speech, whose content included "Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny". It would be a tough act to follow but Malcolm and myself gave a joint wedding speech: An underlying bully theme, the taunting prankster and a standard helicopter demonstration and we were done. After the formalities the ties became loose and so did the crowd. Everybody was dancing and having fun, potentially the most fun I've had at a wedding. The wedding ceremony ended at midnight and soon I was standing with the two other Hong Kong visitors in King's Cross.  It was a familiar sight, the same guys, just a different city.

Whenever I return to Sydney there's a pedestrian pace that lures you into a want for settling down. It's a strange sensation and it almost makes you want to find somebody, move back home and enter into some kind of mortgage. This proposition is even more compelling when you catch up with all the couples, new daughters and sons and of course a beautiful wedding. What a weekend! Congratulations to the beautiful couple. Thank you for an amazing weekend. I love you guys.

"I'm telling the world that I've found a girl; the one I can live for, the one who deserves" - Taio Cruz

Thunderbolt

“You can't hide the thunderbolt. When it hits you, everybody can see it. Christ, man, don't be ashamed of it, some men pray for the thunderbolt. " - Maria Puzo, The Godfather

The Bali Six

The logistics of rounding up people from Sydney, Hong Kong and Jakarta would be the biggest challenge of this trip. To convince people to spend almost a thousand Australian Dollars, 10-12 hours on a plane with the intent to spend less than 72 hours in a single destination would require either a carrot to dangle or the coercive skills of a master salesman. Luckily enough we had a carrot, a carrot so large and orange that it was capable of commanding an army of rabbits. Or in our case five guys, the carrot was the Groom-to-be and this was his Bachelor's party, Stag-do, Buck's Trip, call it what you will. Inspired by the movie The Hangover we headed to Bali, Indonesia.

We, the Hong Kong contingent arrived in Bali Denpasar just after midnight. The hall for immigration was filled with arrivals all trying to purchase Visas and get through customs. Seeing our impatience airport security approached us and asked if we would like to purchase and "express visa" bypassing the queues and headaches. We negotiated a final price of 500 HKD for the three of us and immediately cut through the assembly of tourists.

The last time we were all together in one place would have been the wedding in 2008. It had been a long time coming and I honestly miss hanging out with these guys. What ensued was a weekend spent lazying in the villa, catching up, cracking jokes, reminiscing and of course plenty of alcohol.

Saturday night we gave the Buck his Belly Dancer outfit, a platinum wig and a list of tasks to complete by the end of the night. Tasks included, Find a woman with the same name as your fiancee, dance onto of a table in a public area, get a guy's phone number plus many, many more. Great night, plenty of stories, plenty of laughs, plenty of realisations that were no longer 18 years old. Come Sunday we were spent and could not wait to get home. Somehow managed to score an upgrade to Business Class on the flight back but that did little to alleviate the tiredness and the thought of work on Monday. Excellent weekend, cannot wait to get back to Sydney for the Wedding!

Niseko

Hong Kong, the orphaned child adopted by British parents only to have the biological parents claim her back as an adolescence. The fusion of Western upbringing and Chinese heritage means that Hong Kong lends traditions from both cultures; best exemplified by the annual public holiday calendar. In total, Hong Kong has seventeen public holidays. Easter, Buddha's Birthday, Queen's Birthday, Christmas and of course Chinese New Year.

The first three days of Chinese New Year are public holidays, which means two days of annual leave equates to nine days off work. It also makes it a very popular time to travel for people in Hong Kong with locals wanting nothing more than to escape Hong Kong during the beginning of the lunar year. With this in mind a group of eighteen decided to head over to Japan for a nine day romp in snowy Niseko, Sapporo.

Despite having the foresight to book almost eight months in advance, we still only managed an indirect flight to Sapporo costing almost 10,000 HKD for a return flight. The first night was spent in quaint Sapporo where we raged into the early hours of the morning at A-life Sapporo. 8 am the following day we caught a private van to the village of Hirafu, Niseko. So. Much. Snow. What would follow was eight days of powder, snowboarding, getting stuck in waist-deep snow and plenty of sore muscles.

It snowed continuously for the first eight days and on our final day we were greeted by blue skies and excellent conditions. Highlights include, the Americans celebrating Australia Day while the Australians slept. The delicious but sodium enriched Japanese food; nothing beats a bowl of steaming Ramen after getting off the slopes. Watching the NFL conference finals. Watching a montage of Robyn "Call Your Girlfriend" youtube clips. Me, losing my phone on the slopes.  Us sitting in the Jacuzzi at the end of each day while we licked our wounds sipping on snow-chilled beers. Me, constantly being told by the group to get a bell for around my neck (I always got lost). Going through Blueberry and Strawberry fields, wow. The minus 20 degrees temperature at the top of the mountain. The group yoga sessions. And of course, the excellent company and countless laughs shared.

Qingyuan Q&A

Finally home. I am completely and utterly exhausted but still buzzing from the amazing experience that was granted to me. What a great trip, it's hard to return from a volunteer trip saying it was everything that I expected. What do people expect to happen on such a program? To have poverty run up and smack you in the face only to come back feeling like Angelina Jolie? Not in the sense of feeling like a celebrity and somebody with value but having a sense of being to help those less privileged and adopt a child.

There's always a certain smugness or even reluctance when you return from such a trip. What can you change? What did you change? I think in the end it's a two-fold exercise. You want to walk away thinking that you've made a difference but I think the true value of it all is to know that you've made a difference to yourself. Your perspective and thoughts are altered. Was it the children who benefited? Sure, was it us? Sure.

It's always funny to hear the reactions when people find out that you missed out on Christmas and "nobly" decided to spend it in rural China on a volunteer program. It's strange, I'm almost hesitant to tell people what I'm up to. Ashamed? Not really, I'm just not looking for the accolades of "valiant Christmas". In fact one of the reasons why I enjoy volunteer work aside from being able to interact with people without the status and showboating of society is that it gives me a sense of cleansing and grounds me with what is actually important in this world. Lame, maybe. True, yes.

One of the most common questions was "Why are you giving up Christmas?" followed closely by "Have you done this before?". I guess the thing about Christmas amidst all the hallmark showboating is that it's the event where you're surrounded by friends and family, enjoying great food and just their company. There are a few times during the year for when this harks significance for me, Christmas, Chinese New Year and my Birthday.

In the end, according to my definition I had an excellent Christmas. I met plenty of new friends, had excellent food and enjoyed the company of people and came away feeling like I had done something worth wild. It was a very pure Christmas. Pure weekend, where even though the kids might have no completely understood the meaning of Christmas they will always have a positive association with December 25th. A fun day  filled with laughter and singing. In a strange way, they all have a pure definition of Christmas especially compared to children brought up in the Western world.

I was dubious about the my contribution, the lack of communication and physically being able to better their English.  But it's amazing what a simple smile and some ridiculous body language can do. It's primitive yet effective we made their weekend with our company and the simple human interaction.

The highlights for me were. Living with the families. The generosity left me speechless. We were offered beds and lodging without hesitations. Stories of other volunteers being given blankets with holes and falling asleep to the sound of chattering teeth and sobs in darkness. Singing their school song in front of the students and they joined in and sang along with the complementary sign language was the other highlight.

A lot of these kids grow up without fathers or male figures.  These kids come home and wash and cook without being told, they look after their younger siblings, do their homework and sleep. They have so much responsibility and sometimes they forget that they're actually children. I'd like to think we gave them that chance, to be young, to laugh, to smile, to run and misbehave.

The trip ended with the following questionnaire:

How do you feel?
Most touching Experience?
How will it impact your life?
What will you change when you return to Hong Kong?
Will you join next time?