The artificial glow emanating from the TV blankets the front of my face. Slouched, I reach for another Mint Slice. Crunch. The biscuit breaks, crumbs falling from my mouth onto my belly. Blindly my left hand pats the couch like the Adam family's Thing. The movements can best be described as haphazard as I desperately search for the remote. My eyes fixed on the TV. Crunch. Still my hand searches, it passes a half eaten packet of Oreos, through a litter of Caramello Koala wrappers before my fingers jam unexpectedly into the missing remote control. Crunch. I flick through the channels. Friends, Big Bang Theory, Holly Oaks. I feel an itch on my toe, but the laze overwhelms me. I sit, with an itchy toe, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm a slob, at least I feel like a slob. Crunch.
Ok, perhaps that was somewhat melodramatic. It's been an entire 3 weeks free of physical activity. Physically induced elevated heart rates are but a distant memory although the mere act of climbing three steps leaves me short of breathe. The last three weeks have been spent eating out, I must have consumed 90% of all Chinese dishes known to man. It's time to break this unhealthy lifestyle. First thing's first, it's time to re-vamp the diet.
I am a Weetbix kid and have been consuming this cereal since I was just that, a kid. I still remember the day Brett Lee came out and advertised the Australian Public with his 7 Weetbix a day. "How many do you do?" he queried. I accepted this has a challenge and immediately set out to beat him. 10 Weetbix in one sitting is still my record, eaten with almost 1 litre of milk and out of a punch bowl. I remember, I skipped lunch that day and only regained my apetite come late afternoon. That's besides the point, suffice to say, Weetbix has been a staple breakfast fixture in my life for the best part of 20 years. That was until I got to the UK. You see, the English don't have Weetbix, they have something similiar. Weet-a-bix. Crazy, I know!
To the untrained eye, it's the same thing. However, you come to realise that Weetabix is nothing but an inferior imitation of Weetbix.
The consistency and texture in milk is different, the taste is different, it's not the same!
If only Brett Lee would challenge me to eat Weetabix. Currently reading: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
2 comments:
There are many close-but-not-quites in Britain.
The worst example of this IMO are penguin bars. They were suggested to us as a stand-in for Tim Tams. Oh boy are they not as you've probably discovered.
I once shared some precious Tim Tams (posted from Oz) with co-workers in the UK and with the exception of the folks that had spent significant time in Australia, they Just Didn't Get It. Terrifying. "Just like penguin bars" said one or two. Ugh.
Only advice I can give for many of these things is to get the real thing, or find something completely different. Pale imitations of the comforts of home/Oz just reinforce the longing...
BTW my brother could do 14 weet bix as a teenager. Heh.
Keep having fun.
-> Ben
Hahahah! Oh, I've totally forgot about Penguins! Exactly the same, what's with the individual wrapping?
14!?!? That makes me full just thinking about it ...
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