Rumspringa

I speak from an almost wistful point of view. It's taken me somewhat unexpectedly, I always assumed leaving the UK would be a moment of anticipation, excitement and the reunification with all things Australian. The reality of it all is that I'm petrified and riddled with an insurmountable amount of anxiety almost to the point where I'm scrapping the bottom of the barrels for excuses to stay in London.

I fear the monotony of being back in Australia, an Australian in Sydney, that's nothing special. An Australian in London, well that's nothing special either but there was a inkling of uniqueness. Not even that, London was my haven from responsibility and all about living in the now. When I left Sydney I had the expectation of returning, it was an interim in life. Without sounding melodramatic, this could be the last time in London.

With this in mind I roam London with a certain sense of finality. I have limited amount of time and a list of things that I want to do. It's true, I've become a London Tourist! Deciding what to pack is another challenge stirring a lingering sense of nostalgia. Things that I want to bring home and those that I can safely toss out. Each item in my room represents a different time, a different encounter, a different moment. I go through the photos and SMSes since 2008. The LOL moments, outings, random adventures, relationships, work, travel. London was about redlining the human capacity for emotions. A maelstrom of excitement, doubt, laughter, love, appreciation, regret, sadness, betrayal, frustration, anticipation and happiness.

"I want to know if that place that I've been once before. Hasn't ever changed and remains the place that always will be there for me" - Boyz II Men, Flowers Bloom