Airplanes

My suspicions lie with the pressurised cabins, the high altitude, the overly nice cabin crew and my appetite for aeroplane food. Whether it is specifically, or a combination of the afore mentioned, there's something about long haul flights that causes my penis to detach and become replaced with a massive vagina. It's only a theory, but the more I fly, the more I subscribe to the idea that airlines are pumping some kind of hormone-laced sedative into the cabins. My perceived estrogen levels sky rocket and I'm reduced to what can only be described as a Spider Woman experiencing her periods (I can only imagine). Spider senses tingle!

There's something about flying that makes me react to the following scenarios in the same manner. A young infant with no desire to sleep but to make as much racket as humanly possible. An elderly couple sitting together holding hands on take off. Or even the simple smile of a stewardess. It makes me smile and think. So with this hypothesis, I decided to test this out. I sat through the following: How I Met Your Mother, Date Night and She's Out of My League just to see how I would react to each. Sure enough, each and every one managed to make me tear up; much to my own resistance. The conjecture being, that two of the three were Rom-Coms, but How I Met Your Mother? C'mon now!

The sample space is hardly warranted and you could easily argue that this is far from conclusive. It could have benefited with perhaps a different genre of movie. Unfortunately, I don't have the attention span or the willingness to concentrate on anything more than a comedy. Especially when an action or thriller would only be dealt an injustice on the 6 inch entertainment unit. Perhaps it's a coincidence - business trips, my initial flight out from Sydney, my flight to Singapore, my flight back to London. One thing for sure, I can honestly say I've welled up at some point in time to something insignificant and probably less stimulating on the ground.

It must be noted, this is not a symptom exhibited by short flights through Europe. The early morning starts, the group of familiar faces and the excitement of a new country coupled with the sheer fatigue of traveling weekends overwhelms all emotions. Invariably, it is the trips between home, family and old friends. Perhaps it's not the actual flight, but the transient nature of flying from point A to Point B. Where at some point there is an emotional attachment to the destination. It reminds us of who we will see, or alternatively, who we are leaving behind.

"Can we pretend that air planes in the night sky, are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now." - Hayley Williams